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This is Alfred. He is our driver. He is very considerate, a safe driver, and an honest man. He is recovering from a long illness. I am glad we are here to provide him with a job, however brief. Maybe it will help him get back on his feet again, so he can send his kids back to school. If any of you plan on coming to Kenya, please hire him to be your driver.

In Kenya, the mzungu has a driver. We have been driven everywhere, since we got back from Rwanda. We have been driven for so long that my buttocks have begun to hurt, all the way down the sides of my legs. I yearn to just get out and walk a long distance somewhere, irregardless of destination.

But we are in a foreign land and we are assured that we will always have a driver, and we will be driven from destination to destination. There are wild animals out there, and we are naive mzunga. The towns are crowded and rough, not a recommendable place to strike out on your own. Every night we stay somewhere that is gated and guarded by men with high caliber rifles that have large clips.

The disparity of wealth in this country makes for a lot of tension. You are either inside the gate, or outside the gate. Neither feels familiar or comfortable to this mzungu.

Meanwhile, in this country of roughly 60% unemployment, my ineptly named Techno phone continues to spit out job offers:

Cook needed for a casino
Canteen head.Dip/cert in hotel/canteen management or any catering course
Food and beverage officer. Form certificate with experience
Food and beverage tutor required.
Chef/cook required. certificate in food production from a recognized institution
Caterer for a hospital required
Cateress/caterer required
Nutritionist required. Diploma holder in food science and with experience.
Asst. Lodge manager

Either someone really wants me to stay in Kenya, I am highly employable, or – no! – it’s all a scam.